Exalted
by guardsmansparky
Summary: Separated from his team during Orochimaru's in the Forest of Death during the chuunin exams, Naruto stumbles across the fang of Naga. Taking it in hand, he sets out to make a name for himself, and becomes legend.
1. Chapter 1

_Long ago, before most can even remember, there were three tribes of men created by the dragon goddess Naga: the wise dragonkin; the mighty beorc; and the bestial taguel. The three tribes lived in peace, although they did have their disagreements from time to time. It was an age of peace and prosperity like none before. _

_Then, a dark shadow fell across the land: the fell dragon; Grima. Like a plague, Grima swept across the land, burning all in his path, and leaving death and destruction in his wake. Many stood against the fell dragon, but their mortal weapons and magicks left nary a scratch on the fell dragon's scaled hide. The earth dragon clans were driven mad by Grima's foul presence, becoming little more than thralls to Grima's malevolent desires. The divine dragon clans, scions of Naga herself, were forced to seal away their abilities in crystal stones, lest the same befall them. The taguel were forced to do the same, lest they devolve to slavering beasts. Plague and pestilence swept through the cities of the Beorc. Even the dead were affected, clawing their way out of their graves to attack the living on their dark master's will._

_Naga sought out and confronted Grima and his thralls. For days on end, the earth shook as the two titans fought. In the end though, not even a goddess could withstand the sinister power of Grima. Her attentions diverted by attacks from Grima's enthralled minions, the great goddess was laid low by the fell dragon's treacherous blow from behind. Mortally wounded, Naga was forced to return to her realm in the outrealms and enter a healing sleep. _

_Before she entered her long slumber, Naga heard a prayer. A warrior king begged of the great goddess a weapon capable of ending the fell dragon's reign. Granting his request, Naga tore out a fang and gifted it to the warrior king. Telling him to forge the fang into a mighty blade, Naga succumbed to her wounds and fell into a healing hibernation. Heading the goddess' command, the warrior king had the fang forged into a sword like none that had been before or since. Lofting the blade, he christened it Falchion._

_With Falchion in hand, the warrior king gathered his armies and marched against Grima. Standing tall, the warrior king dueled the fell dragon as his allies clashed with the black dragon's corrupted thralls. The divine blade dug deep into Grima's hide, drawing black blood that set the ground below aflame. Though the wounds vexed Grima, they were not fatal. As the fell dragon was poised to end the warrior king, the king noticed a weak point at the base of Grima's horned skull. With all his might, the warrior king thrust Falchion deep into the dragon's cranium, finally slaying the fell beast._

_With Grima dead, his armies fell into smoke and ash. His mighty carcass left to rot where it fell to the earth, Grima's vanquishers returned to their homes to victorious celebration. Soon, the world began to prosper once more._

_However, while Grima's body moldered, his mind slept and waited._

_Centuries passed, and a new age of strife came upon the land. The Grimleal, fanatical worshipers of Grima, sought to resurrect the fell dragon. The Exalt, descendent of the hero king and newest wielder of Falchion, and a Tactician whose memories had been stolen by the Grimleal, moved to stop the fanatical cult. While too late to stop the resurrection ritual, the Exalt and the Tactician were able to interrupt it, causing the fell dragon to awake in a weakened state. Taking advantage of the dragon's lessened condition, the Exalt and the Tactician struck at Grima and slew him._

_Grima slept once more._

_As the centuries passed once again, a tree grew where the weakened Grima had been struck down. Calling it Shinju, the god tree, the people worshipped it. One day, a strange fruit grew on the god tree, and the people rejoiced. Taking it as a sign, the people gave the fruit to their princess. Soon the princess was blessed with a son, who grew to be a mighty sage and priest. There was peace and prosperity like no other._

_However, a madman, the last of the Grimleal, sought to resurrect Grima once more. Using the tree as a medium, the fanatic attempted a ritual. As the dark energies that would cause Grima to be reborn swirled around the god tree, something unexpected and horrific occurred. Instead of resurrecting the fell dragon, the Shinju itself absorbed the miasma spiraling around it and came to life. Now a mindless beast, Shinju rampaged across the lands, changing the very face of the world as it walked. In the chaos of those first dark days, the descendents of the Exalt and the Hero King were amongst the first to perish, and the Falchion was lost._

_But not all was lost. The son of the princess who had eaten of the Shinju, now known far and wide as the Sage of Six Paths, stood against the Shinju. Unable to purify the mighty tree, and unwilling to kill it, the Sage used a powerful and esoteric ritual to seal the Shinju away into the moon. _

_Halfway through the sealing, the Sage was attacked by the surviving cultist. The ritual only half done, the body was sent to the moon, but its energy remained. Exploding in a burst of dark light, the energy spread across the world, changing the very nature of magic itself._

_With the change of magic and the sealing away of the Shinju, the world began to shift. People began to learn to harness the new magic, learning to channel it without the use of tomes. As nine tailed beasts rose from the earth, the practitioners of this new magic gained a name._

_It was the dawn of the shinobi._

_-_Excerpt from_ Legends of the Old World_

/

Ah, Konohagakure, the shinobi run Village Hidden in the Leaves. Surrounded by the immense trees of the forests of Fire Country, it is a bustling city. Under the leadership of the elderly third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi, the city had flourished and recovered from the disaster that had befallen it fourteen years before.

Today though, the village was host to visiting shinobi from all across the elemental nations, for today was the first day of the bi-annual chuunin exams. Twice every year, genin-class shinobi from across the nations would gather in one of the ninja-run Hidden Villages to display their prowess and skill in hopes of getting promoted to chuunin, and become journeyman level ninja. And this year's second portion of the spring exams was being held in none other than Training Ground 44, the infamous Forest of Death. Let's take a look, shall we?

/

The-ahem -tranquility of the Forest of Death was broken by a sudden and unnatural blast of gale-force winds, followed by a strange bout of cussing.

"…iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!"

The curse was cut off as a blond teen in a gouge-your-own-eyes-out orange tracksuit, born aloft by the dissipating winds, crashed into and through several very large trees that resided in the deepest part of the forest. Sliding to the ground, Naruto Uzumaki let out a groan as he collected himself.

He had been going through the Forest of Death with his teammates when a blast of wind had caught them and tossed him…wherever the hell he was. Opening his bright, sapphire eyes, Naruto rubbed his face, stretching the three whisker-like birthmarks on either cheek as he did so.

As he sat rubbing his face wearily (hey, getting tossed about like socks in a dryer really takes it out of you) Naruto opened his eyes and paused. Pulling his right hand away from his face, he opened it fully to stare at the birthmark on his palm. All his life that strange teardrop birthmark had been just barely visible unless it caught the light just right. But now, there it was, practically shining for everyone to see, almost silver in color.

"What the-"

A noise caused Naruto to look up just in time to see a wall of scales slam into him and send him careening through the forest.

"Not agaaaiiin!"

Spewing a stream of invective that actually made the giant snake attacking him blush slightly, Naruto went tumbling and bouncing through the forest. Rolling to a stop against the small rocky cliff of a forest grotto, the blonde groaned. "Now where am I?"

Looking around the small grotto, Naruto took notice of a vine encrusted pedestal with something sticking out of the brambles at the top. He stepped closer, squinting as he examined it. It almost looked like…

A loud hissing caused Naruto to spin around to see the massive head of the leviathan snake that had blindsided him. Snarling at how the snake was blocking his way out, the blonde reached for his kunai holster, only to blink in confusion when his hand met empty air. Looking down at his leg, Naruto grimaced when he saw that his kunai holster had been torn away from the straps that held it to his leg. Looking up, he saw the snake's tongue flicker hungrily.

"Shit."

Not taking his eyes of the great serpent, Naruto slowly started to back up. He had one hand reached out behind him, feeling for the pedestal so that he wouldn't stumble over it. Just as the snake reared back to strike, Naruto's hand instinctively gripped something behind him.

/

All across Konoha and for miles around, everything stopped as people paused and turned to see a radiant column of light pierce the sky, the clouds sent spiraling away from the towering brilliance.

In the Forest of Death, a snake-like woman had just pulled her fangs from Sasuke Uchiha's shoulder when the forest lit up. Hissing in pain as her skin burned away to reveal a white-skinned man with purple eye-markings, the man disappeared as the light ate away at him. Unbeknownst to him, the mark he had left on his otherwise unharmed victim smoldered and turned white as his pink-haired teammate watched the beacon of light in awe.

Elsewhere in the forest, several belligerent genin received painful sunburns while others basked in the warm glow bathing the forest in white.

In a monastery on a mountainside, the monks all gathered at the walls to gape and speculate at the radiant flare reaching towards the heavens. As the younger monks in the archives rushed to the windows, the ancient archivist gently caressed an antique tome. Staring at the beacon of hope with teary eyes, the old archivist spoke a single word. "Faiāemuburemu."

/

Deep inside a dark, barred sewer, a massive creature with red fur and several tails grunted in its sleep and rolled over. As the white light washed over it and dissipated, the large fox sat up and blinked awake. Something was different…

/

Naruto stood entranced as the light engulfed him, not noticing the giant snake rear back and vanish into a cloud of smoke as it was blinded. Nor did he notice the vine-encrusted pedestal burn and crumble away behind him. He was too enraptured by the radiant beam. As he stood there basking in the white glow, it was as if he was being embraced. It was the way he had always imagined his mother would have held him. In fact, he could have sworn he could hear a woman singing.

_Lay down  
>Your sweet and weary head<br>Night is falling  
>You've come to journey's end<br>Sleep now  
>And dream of the ones who came before<br>They are calling  
>From across the distant shore<em>

_Why do you weep?_  
><em>What are these tears upon your face?<em>  
><em>Soon you will see<em>  
><em>All of your fears will pass away<em>  
><em>Safe in my arms<em>  
><em>You're only sleeping<em>

_What can you see_  
><em>On the horizon?<em>  
><em>Why do the white gulls call?<em>  
><em>Across the sea<em>  
><em>A pale moon rises<em>  
><em>The ships have come to carry you home<em>

_And all will turn_  
><em>To silver glass<em>  
><em>A light on the water<em>  
><em>All souls pass<em>

_Hope fades  
>Into the world of night<br>Through shadows falling  
>Out of memory and time<br>Don't say: «We have come now to the end»  
>White shores are calling<br>You and I will meet again_

_And you'll be here in my arms  
>Just sleeping<em>

_What can you see  
>On the horizon?<br>Why do the white gulls call?  
>Across the sea<br>A pale moon rises  
>The ships have come to carry you home<em>

_And all will turn  
>To silver glass<br>A light on the water  
>Grey ships pass<br>Into the West_

All his life, Naruto had been alone, never truly known affection from others. It wasn't just because he was an orphan. The people of Konoha, the civilians mostly, despised Naruto, for reasons he had only recently discovered. While nothing overly horrific happened, it didn't need to. People merely ignored the blonde, prevented their children form interacting with him, kicked him out of public establishments or shot him hate filled glances. As such, Naruto's spirit had been broken down methodically, the hurt hidden behind a mask of joviality and stupidity.

The light swept away the hurt in Naruto's heart, healing the wounds left in his soul. The scars were still there, but Naruto no longer felt like he was alone in the world. It made him remember the people who had been there for him: the Old Man Hokage, who took him from the streets and gave him his own place when the orphanage kicked him out; Teuchi and Ayame Ichiraku, the father and daughter duo who ran a ramen stand and gave him free food sometimes; the silver-haired ANBU black-ops agent with the dog mask, who kept an eye on him when he was younger and sometimes read bedtime stories to him; Iruka Umino, the only teacher at the Academy to treat Naruto like an actual person and never sabotaged his learning; and the nice snake lady, who, though crazy, had taught him to read and defend himself properly. Tears of happiness flowed freely down Naruto's bewhiskered cheeks.

Soon, the pillar of light began to recede. The presence around Naruto began to fade, though it seemed to hold him tighter as it did so. It left what Naruto thought was a kiss on his cheek before it finally faded away. The column of light shrunk until it was no more than a sliver in the sky, until that too was gone. Sniffing with a small smile on his face, Naruto brushed the tears away with his free hand. Blinking, Naruto belatedly realized that his right hand was holding something.

Holding up his arm, Naruto gasped. There in his hand, clasped by the hilt, was a sword unlike any that the blonde had ever seen before. About three feet in length, the blade was perfectly straight, and unlike the straight swords Naruto had seen other ninja use, the blade had two edges and came to a point in the center. Running down the length of the blade was a channel inlaid with finely worked gold. At its base, the sword flared out, with a teardrop shaped hole in the blade the size of a child's fist. To Naruto's awe and bemusement, the blade shone, untouched by age and corrosion.

The same could not be said for the hilt, however. The ridged, golden guard was chipped and dirty, almost a green color from the grime that had accumulated in the recesses. The grip, wrapped in what was once red leather, was cracked and blackened. The hilt ended abruptly, like some animal had gnawed away whatever was at the end.

Looking at the decrepit hilt, Naruto knew that he would need to get it replaced before he could use the sword properly. That and learn how to use a sword.

_Falchion_

Naruto blinked. He could have sworn that he heard someone whisper something to him, a name possibly? He looked at the sword in his hand. Perhaps it was the name of the sword? Naruto paused. Hadn't he heard that name somewhere before?

Torn from his musings by a distant scream, Naruto remembered that he was in the middle of the Forest of Death during the second part of the chuunin exam. Taking off the tattered remains of his my-eyeballs-are-throwing-up orange tracksuit top, Naruto wrapped the sword and tied it diagonally to his back. Gathering himself, Naruto leapt into the mammoth trees of the forest, leaving the grotto behind without a glance.

**AN: Well folks, another plot bunny procreates. This one started out as Naruto finds Ragnell, and eventually evolved into what you see here. Read and Review. More reviews make me want to write more. **

**All praise the Gods of Fanfiction!**


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto scowled as he kicked an empty can viciously. The past week had not been a good one, really. After rejoining his fellow members of Team Seven in the forest, they had made their way to the tower in the center. Apparently, just before he had met up with them, Sakura Haruno, his pink-haired teammate with a banshee's voice, had held off an attack from the genin team from the Sound Village. Just before she could be killed, Sasuke, the self-described "avenger" woke up from a mini-coma and completely trashed the Sound team and sent them packing. He had been sure to rub that into Naruto's face, as usual.

After reaching the tower, they had learned that they had to participate in a series of preliminary one-on-one battles, as too many people had passed the second portion of the exams. Sasuke had decimated his opponent when strange white markings started to cover his skin. Kakashi Hatake, Team Seven's jounin sensei, had immediately whisked the black-haired boy away, not even staying to watch the matches of his other two students. Sakura's match had just been sad. She had been paired up against Ino Yamanaka, the blonde heiress of a clan of mindwalkers and a fellow die-hard fangirl of Sasuke Uchiha. After spending several minutes spent bitch-slapping each other, they had knocked each other out with a single punch.

And then it was Naruto's turn. He had been paired up against one Kiba Inuzuka, the heir-apparent of the feral and animalistic Inuzuka clan. It had been two against one, as Kiba had the aid of his nin-partner puppy Akamaru, who somehow used a technique to turn into another Kiba. Naruto had barely won that fight.

Sneering, Naruto crushed the can flat in self-loathing. He had been about to lose to the dog-like boy, only to knock out the boy by overloading his sense of smell with a fart. A _fart_ of all things! Once again, Naruto cursed most of the teachers at the Ninja Academy (Especially Mizuki, may the traitorous bastard rot, wherever he locked up) for sabotaging his progress as a ninja. Thanks to that sabotage, Naruto's style of fighting was little more sophisticated than that of a drunken brawler. And sadly, Kakashi had been unable to help him with that, as the Civilian council had enough blackmail on the silver-haired sensei to force him to focus only on the "last Uchiha." The jounin had gone around this however, by leaving scrolls for Sakura and Naruto to go over. While the scrolls had helped immensely (for Naruto at least; Sakura never trained outside of team training, preferring to primp herself for 'her' Sasuke), it wasn't the same as learning from someone experienced who could point out any mistakes.

Naruto gave a short yell of rage as he sent the can flying with a vicious kick. Once again, the Civilian council was forcing Kakashi to focus solely on their precious Uchiha, leaving the blonde high and dry. He knew that Sasuke needed the help if he was to survive, as his first opponent for the tournament style exam finals was a murderous sociopath with control over sand, but he needed the help too, dammit! His opponent, a Neji Hyuuga, had almost killed his cousin Hinata over an internal clan affair! If he was willing to do that to his own family, what was he willing to do to a complete stranger?

Forcing himself to calm down, Naruto stuffed his hands into his pockets. He had a month to train before the third portion of the chuunin exams. He just had to find someone to give him that training. But first things first, he had to get Falchion re-hilted and buy new clothes, as his last tracksuit had been shredded back in the Forest of Death. Pulling out a frog wallet stuffed with accumulated cash, Naruto hoped that it would be enough.

/

Tenten Higurashi sighed as she wiped down the counter of her father's smithy and weapons shop. A two year veteran genin, she had brown eyes and brown hair, worn up in a pair of panda-ear like buns, and was normally very enthusiastic about working in her father's shop, especially seeing as she was a weapons fanatic. However, she had lost pitifully during the preliminaries at the end of the second part of the chuunin exams. She had been up against a kunoichi from the Hidden Sand Village, whose control over wind had deflected every weapon Tenten had thrown at her. With her primary strategy (her only strategy really) of turning an opponent into a pincushion not working, she had been trounced in no time.

The funk that Tenten found herself in was broken slightly as the bell over the store door chimed. Looking up, she saw a blue-eyed blonde with six whisker marks on his cheeks who looked somewhat lost. She recognized him as the blonde that had defeated that Inuzuka boy. She giggled at the memory as she looked closer at the blonde. He was kinda cute.

Tenten cleared her throat. "Welcome to the Bronze Kunai! What can I help you with?"

The boy jumped slightly, before nervously approaching the counter. He pulled something bundled up in it-makes-blind-kids-cry orange rags off his back and placed it carefully on the counter. "I found this sword in the Forest of Death. I'd like to get it fixed please."

Tenten nodded as she eyed the boy's ragged orange pants and torn black muscle shirt. "You look like you could do with some new clothes too…" She trailed off and stared at the boy.

He got the hint. "Oh, I-I'm Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki."

"Tenten. My dad runs the store." Tenten smiled as she introduced herself. "Why don't you go take a look at the clothes we carry while I take a look at your sword?"

Nodding, Naruto left the bundled up sword on the counter and wandered over to look at the clothing selections. Giggling at the boy's manner, Tenten began to unwrap the sword. Her lips curled as she saw the condition the hilt was in. "Man this thing must be ancient. It's in horrible condit…" She brunette trailed off as the rest of the eye-burning rags slid off the blade. "Oh. My. Gods above."

Re-wrapping the sword in the brain-melting orange rags, Tenten ran with it into the back where her father was working at the forge. "Daddy! You have to see this!"

Kajiya Higurashi stood up from where he was bent over his forge and pulled his soot-blackened goggles off his eyes. "What is it Princess?"

Tenten skid to a halt before her father. "Look!" She tore the rags away from the sword.

Kajiya's eyes bulged out of his shaved head. "Heavens above. It can't be." The weapons smith reached out slowly, as if he was afraid to get soot on the pristine blade. "It was said to have been lost during the cataclysm." The mountain of a man looked up to meet his daughter's eyes. "Who…brought this in?"

"A blonde boy," Tenten replied. "He said he found it in the Forest of Death."

"Well how about that." Kajiya ran his thumb over the edge, drawing a thin bead of blood. _Just like the legends said._ "I want to see this boy."

/

Naruto stood nervously at the counter with his selection of clothes in his arms. The panda girl—Tenten, he corrected—was taking an awfully long time. Hearing someone coming, Naruto looked up and gasped. There, squeezing his bulk through the door to the back rooms was the largest, most muscle-bound man Naruto had ever seen. He looked down at Naruto.

"This him?"

From behind the mountain of flesh, Naruto heard Tenten reply. "Yep."

The man stared impassively at Naruto. He gestured for Naruto to put his purchases on the counter. Nervously, Naruto complied, only for the man's hand to envelope his wrist. Freezing as one would do when confronted by a large predator, heart racing, Naruto watched as the man rotated his hand and stared at his palm.

After what seemed an eternity, the man-mountain released Naruto and turned away. "Come back for your sword in three days." As he went through the door, he looked at Tenten. "Give him the preferred customer rate."

Naruto was too busy trying to calm his racing heart to notice as Tenten rang up the clothes. She looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry about my dad, he can be a bit intense sometimes." Naruto, not wanting to risk his voice betraying him, nodded.

Tenten smiled. "See you in a few days!"

/

A few days later, Naruto walked carefully through the door of the Bronze Kunai, as if Kajiya was going to be waiting to pounce on him like an angry grizzly. When no such grizzly attacked, Naruto made his way to the counter and greeted Tenten. "Hey."

Tenten looked up from her magazine. "Oh, hey, how's it going?"

"Great." Naruto looked around. "Is your dad done with my sword?"

"Yup." Tenten hitched a thumb over her shoulder. "He's out in the yard. Just go through the back and meet him there."

Thanking the brunette, Naruto went into the back. Careful not to touch anything, Naruto made his way to the backdoor. Going out into the yard, he saw Kajiya Higurashi sitting cross-legged on a stump in the center of the yard, a grey bundle in his lap. Walking closer, he saw the man's eyes were closed.

Opening his mouth to catch the man's attention, the words died in the blonde's throat as Kajiya began to speak.

"Long ago, a divine dragon gave one of her fangs to a mighty hero. Forging it into a mighty blade, the hero defeated a great evil and became a king. Throughout the years following, the blade passed from descendent to descendent, each one carrying the mark of the divine dragon. With it, many dread evils and abominations were slain along the way.

"Over the ages, the hilt was replaced and reforged time and time again as age took its toll. The blade however, never dulled, never pitted or rusted, as pristine as the day it was forged.

"It is said that the blade could only be wielded by one who is worthy and of the Hero King's bloodline. For anyone else, it would be dull, unable to so much as cut firewood. Though sword and bloodline were lost during the cataclysm, it is said that one descendent may have survived. Until earlier this week, that was just idle speculation.

"Now, the hilt has been restored, and it is time for the blood of the Hero King to wield it once more, the holy blade: Falchion!"

Standing, Kajiya tore the cloth off the bundle with a flourish. Naruto gasped. There, in Kajiya's hand, was a renewed Falchion. Sheathed in a simple ray skin scabbard, the hilt was a true masterpiece worthy of the brilliance of the divinely forged blade. Made of a shining, silvery metal, one side of the hand guard tapered into an upturned knob, while the other flared out into a basket hilt that met at the pommel. Inlaid on the basket hilt was gold filigree that spiraled and curved in strangely familiar designs. The grip was wrapped in shark and ray skin, the wrappings forming a diamond pattern. Pulling Falchion slightly from the scabbard, Naruto saw that the teardrop hole was now filled by a large blue gem.

Naruto looked up from Falchion as Kajiya began to speak once more. "The work I have done on Falchion is truly my best work. The basket hilt is there to protect your hands, the knob to stop another blade from sliding down onto the grip. Both were forged from chakra metals to allow you to channel chakra into the blade. Seals are inlaid in gold on the basket guard, granting durability and protection from aging and damage to the hilt. The gem in the base of the blade was given to me by an old monk. When he presented me with it, he told me to hold onto it until the right moment."

Kajiya opened his eyes and looked down at Naruto. "I expect great things from you with that sword. Don't disappoint me."

As the man folded his legs beneath himself and sat back down, Naruto could only think of one burning question. "How-how can I be related to this great king? I'm just a nobody orphan."

Kajiya didn't even open his eyes. "It's obvious, isn't it? You have his mark in the palm of your hand."

/

Naruto sat numbly in a clearing, Falchion sitting in its scabbard on his lap. Staring off into space, he barely registered his sister-figures Ayame and the crazy snake lady Anko Mitarashi going into the public baths and attached hot springs.

For the longest time, Naruto sat and wondered about his family. Who were his parents, and which one had been the descendent of the Hero King? For that matter, why had the Fourth Hokage sealed a demon in his gut and not somebody else's?

A perverted giggle broke Naruto from his heavy thoughts. Looking over at the hot springs, Naruto saw a heavyset man with long, bushy white hair and dressed like a kabuki actor standing on a large, orange toad. To Naruto's rage, the man was staring through a knothole in the outer wall and writing in a notepad. His sister-figures were in there!

Snarling silently, Naruto prowled up behind the man-sized toad and whispered into its aural organs. "I'd leave if I were you."

Glancing at the coldly enraged blonde, the toad shrugged and vanished with a pop of smoke. The white-haired pervert crashed to the ground with a suppressed curse and tried to get back up, only to freeze. There, between his legs, was a bright, shining sword less than an inch from his little ninja. He looked up to see a seething blonde.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

The boy's voice was deceivingly calm. The man pulled out a book with an orange cover. "I am doing research. I'm a world-famous writer, after all."

Naruto stared at the book. Suddenly, he recognized the dirty book that Kakashi was always reading. If that man was its author, along with having the summoning contract for the toad clans, that meant that he was… "You are the Toad Sage, Jiraiya."

Jiraiya smiled slightly. He wanted to jump up and do his customary introduction, but even he didn't dare move with a blade at his manhood. "I am."

"Excellent." Naruto gave a viciously devious smile. "Then you will help me train for the finals of the chuunin exams."

Jiraiya looked at the blonde incredulously. "And just what makes you think I'll do that?"

Naruto sneered and leaned in to whisper into the old pervert's ear. "The fact that if you don't, I'll prevent you from ever being able to do 'research' in Konoha again, and the fact that I'll remove your manhood for perving on the two closest people I have to sisters."

Jiraiya gulped as the sword buried itself into the ground between his legs, although internally he was smirking. _Heh, I like this kid._ "Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?"


	3. Chapter 3

**[Play: Super Smash Bros Brawl Main Theme]**

It was with great pomp and circumstance that Konoha opened the finals tourney of the bi-annual chuunin exam. People, commoners and nobles alike, had come from across the elemental nations to see the finest young men and women prove their worth. The local businesses thrived, making more money in an hour than they did in a year. And all of this was centered on the Konoha Stadium.

The stands were packed wall to wall with spectators, some of whom had waited for years to attend. Many eyes flickered over to the finalists waiting in the arena. Strangely, only six of the nine finalists were present. Dosu—the sole finalist from the Hidden Sound Village—Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha were conspicuously absent.

Soon, spotlights blazed to life and converged on a jounin wearing a backwards forehead protector bandanna and chewing on a senbon needle. "Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the finals of the 75th Annual Spring Chuunin Exams!"

The announcement was met with boisterous cheering and roaring applause. The senbon-chewing shinobi's voice range out through the stadium once more. "I am today's host, Genma Shiranui! Without further ado, let's get this thing started!"

An electronic scoreboard with pictures of each finalist lit up above the stands. Strangely, one of the pictures already had a thick, red X through it. "Due to an unfortunate accident, Dosu of Hidden Sound is unable to participate, and has been dropped from the tournament. As such, through random drawing, the first match shall be between Neji Hyuuga and Naruto Uzumaki. Will the finalists not named please retire to the contestant's box."

The genin filed off the field, leaving the long-haired Neji standing alone on the field. Murmurs filled the stadium as audience members wondered what was going on.

/

In the Kage box reserved for the leaders of the various shinobi villages, Third Hokage Hiruzen Sarutobi turned away from his counterpart from Hidden Sand as his old student and spy master entered the box. "Ah, Jiraiya, how are you today?"

Jiraiya chuckled. "Good, sensei. I spent the past month training Naruto Uzumaki for the tournament. He proved to be quite the fast learner." Jiraiya's expression grew serious as he leaned in closer to his old teacher. "Coincidentally, I'd have Ibiki Moreno vet the academy. Naruto showed signs of being blatantly sabotaged. In fact, I believe the only instructor exempt from such an act is Iruka Umino. Squirt had only good things to say about him."

Hiruzen nodded. "I see. So what did you work on with Naruto?"

"Oh, you know, a little bit of this, a little bit of that."

"I see." Hiruzen looked out at the arena. "So where is he then?"

Jiraiya smirked. "Oh, he should be arriving right about…"

/

Down below in the arena, Neji Hyuuga snorted, his blank white eyes that people sometimes mistook for being blind flat with contempt. "I suppose even an idiot gets things right every once in a while. He must have known fate was against him."

Fishing out a pocket watch, Genma sighed before putting it away. Clearing his voice, he began to speak to the arena. "Due to failure to arrive on time for his match, Naruto Uzumaki is hereby—"

Genma was interrupted as a random person in the audience shot to his feet with a shout. "Look!"

/

"…Now."

/

Every eye in the stadium turned upward to see something glint in the sky above the arena followed by a silhouette launching off the roof covering the stands. The silhouette intercepted the glinting object and succumbed to gravity. Onlookers jumped to their feet with screams of horror as the silhouetted person hit the ground with a mighty crash, sending up a cloud of dust.

When the dust cleared, the first thing that anyone saw was a gleaming sword. Soon, a man in a dark brown hooded cloak with a burnt orange inner layer could be seen as he sheathed the sword with a flourish that had the crowd roaring with approval.

Genma looked over the newcomer with a gimlet eye. Under his cloak, he could see that the man was wearing beige pants, brown leather boots and a blue tunic with a belt cinched around his waist. Across the left side of the chest was buckled a thick piece of makeshift leather armor, a swirl pattern tooled into the leather over the heart. Taking note of the unusual sword sheathed at his waist, Genma looked at the shadows the man's upturned hood was casting.

"Your name?"

A stiff breeze sent the man's cloak fluttering grandly even as it flipped back the hood, revealing a mop of blond hair and a black-clothed Konoha forehead protector. He gave a sharp smile, revealing his slighter longer-than-normal canines. "Naruto Uzumaki."

The crowd went wild. Although a good portion of the audience still either disliked or outright despised Naruto, they still appreciated a good entrance. Besides, now they got to watch the Kyuubi incarnate get his ass handed to him by the prodigy child of the Hyuuga clan.

Neji sneered. "So, the failure once again fails to learn his lesson."

Genma frowned at Neji's attitude before projecting his voice around the arena once more. "Are the contestants ready?"

Sliding gracefully into the solidly grounded stance of Jyuukenpo, the Hyuuga clan's signature style of the Gentle Fist, Neji sneered at the whiskered blonde across from him. "Fate has already declared me the winner."

Naruto snorted before drawing Falchion and moving to a standard double-handed grip, right leg trailing slightly behind the left, the light glinting off Falchion's tip. "Prepare yourself."

Genma raised his hand and quickly chopped at the air. "Begin!"

**[Play Battlefield - Super Smash Bros. Brawl Music Extended]**

Naruto immediately shot forward. As he ran, two clouds of smoke heralded the creation of two shadow clones that flanked the blonde's headlong charge. As one, the three sword-wielding blondes leapt at the smug Hyuuga. Smirking, Neji dispelled the two solid, semi-sapient chakra-constructs with a pair of simple taps and unleashed a devastating combo upon the airborne blonde.

Despite the seemingly gentle taps one made while using it, the Jyuuken was a deadly fighting style. In its base form, the Jyuuken was designed to take advantage of the Hyuuga clan's bloodline, the Byakugan eye. The Byakugan allowed a user to see virtually 360⁰, see chakra in the air and body and see through walls. In conjunction with the Jyuuken, a Hyuuga could target and shutdown the target's chakra flow with a few simple taps. As even civilians used what little chakra they had to move about, it would leave the target paralyzed and helpless. Add chakra to the mix, and Jyuukenpo became an assassin's art. A single chakra-laden touch could damage muscles, burst organs, or even literally scramble a person's brain.

Fortunately for Naruto, Neji did not imbue his strikes with chakra. As the blonde was launched into the air, Neji confidently turned to Genma to have him call the match. As he opened his mouth however, Naruto vanished with a poof. Jerking his head around, he stared at the cloud of smoke formerly known as Naruto. "What!?"

Activating his Byakugan, Neji saw Naruto descending upon him from above with flames dancing upon his sword's blade. Dodging to the side, he avoided the ensuing eruption of fire and engaged the blonde in close combat.

What ensued could almost be called a dance, if both dancers were doing their best to maim each other that is. Naruto would lunge at Neji, while the Hyuuga would deflect the vorpal blade and retaliate, only for the blonde to parry the Jyuuken strike as if it were another sword and expertly, though noticeably stiffly, retaliate with a riposte.

The audience was flabbergasted, none more so than those who knew or had experienced first-hand the Hyuuga prodigy's fighting prowess, that this blonde boy, who had been at the very bottom of his class at the academy was holding his own. More so, the fact that he was arguably making headway was unthinkable.

/

Hiruzen and the Kazekage blinked as the two struck and countered with each strike. Finally noticing that his mouth was agape, Hiruzen shut his jaw with an audible click and turned to his old student. "Jiraiya, what on earth did you teach him? I had no idea you knew how to use a sword."

Jiraiya chuckled, his face-splitting grin stretching the red lines on his cheeks. "I taught him many things sensei, but not swordplay. I had to pull in a favor from Hayate Gekkou." The Toad Sage's expression grew somber. "He was his last student before…" He trailed off.

Hiruzen nodded, his own mood having fallen considerably at remembering the fate of the master swordsman and the proctor of the preliminary rounds at the end of the second exam. "I see." He took a glance at the blonde holding his own against the more experienced older boy. "How did he get so good? He would only have had a week, if that with Hayate before his untimely demise."

"The squirt put his all into it. Well, that and liberal abuse of shadow clones," Jirayia remarked off-handedly.

The elderly Hokage raised an eyebrow. "Surely a few shadow clones wouldn't have made that much of a difference? How many did he make?"

Jiraiya leaned in toward his old teacher and whispered. Hiruzen's eyes widened. "Total?"

The Toad Sage shook his head with a shit-eating grin. "Nope. A day. Kid put his all into it. That and after word arrived of what happened to Gekkou, Naruto threw even more into his training, saying that he'd, and I quote, 'make Hayate-sensei proud if it was the last thing he'd do.'" He looked down at the match below. "Squirt's got the knowledge and skills, now he just needs the experience to round it out."

Nodding, Hiruzen returned his full attention to the fight in progress. Jiraiya crossed his arms and carefully observed his student's technique so that he could correct any mistakes made later. Neither noticed the Kazekage giving Naruto a speculatively hungry stare.

/

Naruto swiftly made a circle parry around Neji's knife-hand strike. As he moved back for a counter attack though, Neji's eyes suddenly glinted with irritation. "Enough of this! Jyuukenpo: Rotation!"

A solid bubble of swirling blue chakra spun into existence around Neji as the Hyuuga prodigy spun in place at high speeds. Naruto grunted as the churning sphere smashed into his gut and sent him careening across the stage. As he leapt back to his feet, Neji was suddenly before him. "You are within range of my divination."

A green eight trigrams circle suddenly appeared around Naruto as Neji called out his attack. "Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palms!  
>Two Palms!<br>Four Palms!  
>Eight Palms!<br>Sixteen Palms!  
>Thirty-Two Palms!<br>Sixty-Four Palms!"

Neji's arms became a blur as they struck Naruto's chakra points, going faster and faster with each subsequent attack until hardly even the blur could be seen. Finally, the last blow was struck. Naruto staggered back and fell to his knee, supporting himself with Falchion's tip dug into the ground. The audience, especially the Hyuuga Elders council was astonished. Here was a branch member utilizing techniques only taught to members of the Hyuuga clan main branch. For him to have reverse-engineered the techniques on his own…truly he was the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan.

Neji sneered. "Impressive. You managed to move just enough that my strikes numbed your body instead of shutting off your chakra network. However, it is not enough. Fate has decreed that I shall emerge victorious this day."

As Naruto knelt there listening to Neji's schpiel, several scenes showing a man wielding Falchion flickered across the whiskered boy's vision. Smirking, the blonde mumbled something, causing Neji to lean down to Naruto's level. "You have something to say to me, failure?"

The blonde looked up at Neji, a predatory gleam in his ocean-blue eyes. "Yeah, you shouldn't let your guard down in a fight."

Pulling Falchion from the ground as a red glow briefly flared around him, Naruto swung the blade with all his might up between Neji's legs. The arena was filled with sympathetic groans from almost every male present, and quite a few females, as Neji was bodily lifted several yards into the air. Paralyzed with agony, Neji could only watch and brace himself mentally as Naruto fazed into view before him.

With Falchion raised above his head, Naruto floated there for a brief moment, eyes glimmering with the promise of pain. "THIS IS THE END! AETHER!" With that said, the divine blade came down on the helpless Hyuuga, sending him rocketing down into the ground, the floor buckling and cracking below him.

Gasping for breath, Neji watched as Naruto landed lightly and walked slowly towards him, Falchion held low at his side. "How? How could you have beaten me? Fate—"

"—can go get hot and bothered, for all I care," Naruto declared as he leveled Falchion's tip at Neji's neck and waited for Neji to surrender. When he just sat there and glowered, Naruto cleared his throat. "So…is there a particular reason you don't like your cousin? 'Cause from what I've seen, she's a pretty nice girl."

Up in the stands, a pale-lavender eyed girl blushed and tried very hard not to faint.

Neji spat up at Naruto. "Why?! Because she's the pampered heiress of the Hyuuga clan, while I am just a mere slave!"

Naruto cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "I don't follow."

Snarling, Neji tore off his forehead protector, revealing a green glowing tattoo that throbbed in time to his heart beat. "This is the caged bird seal. From the day I was born into the branch clan, and the seal applied, I was little more than a slave. With a single seal and some chakra, any main branch member of the Hyuuga clan can cause me pain or kill me. My own father, the identical twin of the clan head, was sacrificed to prevent a war when the Hidden Cloud called for my uncle's head!"

"Wow," Naruto scratched the back of his head. "That…that's rough."

Neji sneered at the blonde standing on his chest. "Don't you _dare _to patronize me! You have no idea what it's like to live, cursed by a seal placed upon you!"

Naruto's face darkened and his eyes went flat. "I don't know what it's like huh?" A dark presence filled the stadium, like all the light in the world had been sucked into the brightly shining Falchion. "I was born the day of the Kyuubi attack. With no other children born that day, the Fourth Hokage was forced to use my body to seal away the Nine-Tailed Fox demon. I have been ignored, overcharged at stores, kicked out of the orphanage at the tender age of five, ostracized, starved—I grew up _alone_, you at least knew your father before he died. I don't even know who my parents are! You at least still have family." Naruto snarled and drew back his sword. "Just because your life's been shitty doesn't mean there isn't anybody out there who's had it worse than you! Think on it!" With that, Naruto rapped the flat of Falchion against Neji's temple, knocking him out.

Sheathing Falchion, Naruto turned and walked away, paying no attention as Genma declared him the winner.

/

The Third Hokage and Fourth Kazekage clapped politely in the quiet aftermath of the momentous battle, kick-starting the hesitant applause in the rest of the stadium. Hiruzen rested his hands on his armrests and went over the battle in his head. "I would say that Naruto has potential to be promoted to Chuunin. He has shown an excellent usage of tactics technique. Neji however, needs to be brought down several pegs, and needs to learn not to malign fellow shinobi."

The Fourth Kazekage nodded in agreement, then tapped his veiled chin as he considered something. "Interesting how the Uzumaki boy's sword didn't cut through the Hyuuga during that finisher. Even if it had been duller than a rusty hatchet, I would have thought to have seen _some _blood."

Hiruzen's brows lifted as he considered that fact, until he noticed the knowing look on his former student's face. "Oh, do you know something, Jiraiya?"

The Toad Sage nodded. "Indeed I do, Sensei. It was a samurai technique that Hayate picked up somewhere along the way and passed on to Naruto. Apparently, the samurai were able to alter the standard technique of sharpening a blade with chakra to instead dull one for training purposes. I don't know the mechanics, but it essentially turns a sword into a fancy club."

"Fascinating." It was a pity that Hayate hadn't shared this technique with the village, but most likely the deceased swordsman would have been sworn to only teach it to any apprentice he took. If he had taught Naruto, it was likely that the blonde had taken the same or a similar oath. Shame that.

Sighing, the elderly Hokage turned his attention back to the arena and waited for the next match to begin.

**AN: As you can see, I'm sort of on a SSB kick right now. Just got the game and it is AWESOME! Anyways, on to review response!**

**Anyone who can guess where I got Naruto's outfit from gets an internet cookie!**

**Jose19: Honestly, I think most people wouldn't recognize it just on sight, unless they were a weapons or a history junkie. It did disappear during the cataclysm, remember?**

**Ultima-owner: He did indeed.**

**Spark681: Well, there you go. Shadow clone abuse and a brief apprenticeship with Hayate Gekkou.**


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto sat in the competitor's booth, fingers tapping the pommel of Falchion as he sat in thought. Something…wasn't right. Not five minutes ago, Leaf gennin Shino Aburame and Suna puppeteer Kankurou of the Desert were to have their match, only for Kankurou to forfeit suddenly. Naruto would have thought that the puppeteer would have jumped at the opportunity to fight an Aburame.

The members of the Aburame clan were essentially living hives to their Kikaichu destruction beetles. These beetles lived in a symbiotic relationship with the Aburame, living within their bodies and feeding off their chakra in exchange for fighting alongside them. When Konoha had first been founded, the Aburame had been a minor clan with little political influence. Then, at the height of the Second Shinobi World War, several members of the Aburame clan had come up against several high-tier members of the Suna Puppeteer's Corps. At the time, the Suna Puppeteer's Corps had been undefeated as a whole, with many fearing their chakra controlled battle puppets and deadly poisons.

When the Aburame had gone up against the puppeteers, the outcome had been completely unexpected. The poisons favored by the puppeteers had been all but useless, killing only handfuls of beetles as they siphoned the toxins from their hosts. Soon, the puppets were useless, the chakra empowering and controlling the puppets devoured by the Kikaichu. Without their puppets, the puppeteers were helpless, and the battle became a rout. After the battle, the Suna Puppeteer's Corps had lost their fearsome reputation, to a bunch of bugs, no less, and there had been bad blood between them ever since. So, for a Suna puppeteer to turn down the chance at a sanctioned fight against a rival, village alliances notwithstanding, was suspicious.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as Shikamaru Nara and Temari of the Desert were called up to have their match. He kept a close eye on the Suna girl. Naruto didn't look it, but he had always been good at reading people. If he was being honest, it appeared that Temari was about to forfeit her match, though reluctantly. Strange.

"I really don't want to have to fight a girl. It's just so troublesome," Shikamaru sighed. It appeared that this was the wrong thing for the lazy genius to say, as Temari was suddenly livid.

"What was that!? Are you saying that fighting girls is beneath you?!" Kankurou tried to calm his sister down. "Screw the plan, I'm kicking this guy's ass!"

Shikamaru sighed. "This is so troublesome. Proctor, I forf—Bwagh!" Shikamaru was sent tumbling over the guardrail, as Naruto, having snuck up behind the lazy boy, planted a boot on his backside.

Leaning over to see the lethargic brunette land on his bottom in a cloud of dust, Naruto yelled down to him. "Look, you lazy bastard, these people came here to see fighters, not quitters! Now get going before I go and tell your mom!"

Shikamaru paled. If there was one thing that could get any of the slothful Nara men motivated, it was the threat of their mothers/sisters/wives and a well used frying pan. Sighing in annoyance, Shikamaru languidly got to his feet. "Troublesome blondes."

"WHAT!?" Apparently Temari, whose sandy hair was done up in four pigtails, overheard him. Troublesome. "Right, that does it! I was going to just kick your ass, but now I'm really going to hand it to you! Proctor, start the match!"

/

Naruto only paid half-attention to the match between the lazy genius and the blonde girl swinging around a giant war-fan. Something was definitely up. The Suna nin seemed reluctant to fight. It was as if they were reluctant to exert themselves or show off what they could do, which, during a chuunin exam at least, was counter-intuitive. Even now, the irate pigtailed-blonde in the arena was only using the same technique over and over again, though it _was _effective in knocking around the Nara heir. So, what reason could the Suna nin have to hide their abilities?

Looking around the stadium, Naruto spotted no less than an entire ANBU black-ops and internal security platoon hidden around the arena. Strange. Even when the ANBU had pursued him after one of the more disruptive of his infamous pranks, they had never gone above using one or two squads to go after him. Come to think of it, Naruto had seen an inordinate amount of activity amongst the black-cloaked, animal-masked ninja around the village as he set up for his grand entrance on the stadium's roof.

Naruto frowned as he considered that little tidbit. He had never seen so many ANBU during the day, or night for that matter. In fact, he couldn't remember a single instance that so many ANBU were on patrol. Actually, now that he thought about it, the number of ANBU out and about was at least double of the number Naruto had counted on his various forays into the ANBU HQ to prank the Konoha Elites. That meant that inactive shinobi had been called back into service, and the only time that would occur, Naruto knew, thanks to one of Iruka-sensei's lectures that he actually paid attention to, was…

War.

Biting his lip, Naruto looked sidelong at the two Suna nin in the competitor's box. They were in on it, whatever was going on, Naruto was sure of it. Especially the red head with the oversized gourd, baggy aqua eyes, red kanji tattoo over the left eye, and mother complex. Something about him was familiar to the blonde. To be honest, it gave the blue-eyed teen the willies. Naruto turned his attention back to the arena as Shikamaru immobilized Temari with his shadow, only to forfeit.

As Sasuke and Kakashi shunshined into the arena, Naruto watched dispassionately until Shikamaru returned to the competitor's booth. Sitting up, Naruto gestured the boy over. As the lethargic mastermind sat next to him, Naruto posed a question. "Hey, Shika, you remember that lecture Iruka-sensei gave about Leaf Village standard procedures?" It was vague, but Naruto hoped the Nara would figure it out. From the way he stiffened slightly, he would say that he did.

Shikamaru glanced aside at the sunny-blonde next to him. "So you noticed it too. I was worried that I was just being paranoid, but if you came to the same conclusion…troublesome."

Naruto smirked briefly before dropping the expression. He never had been able to fool the Nara heir with the happy-go-lucky-idiot act. "Think we'd be able to…" Naruto flicked his eyes over to the other Leaf genin in the competitor's box. Even though they had been disqualified in the preliminaries last round, the other members of what was quickly becoming known as the "Konoha Twelve" were present as well.

The lazy genius considered the blonde next to him. While Naruto wasn't a genius like he was per say, it could be said that Naruto was a genius when it came to the battlefield. Though he never showed it, Naruto was capable of coming up with plans on the fly, altering them at a drop of a hat, where it would take a Nara a few minutes to come up with a comprehensive strategy and several alternatives. Shikamaru shook his head slightly, causing his pineapple-styled ponytail to sway. "No, we wouldn't be able to without…" Shikamaru flicked his eyes over to the Sand nin.

Naruto understood immediately. Any attempt to warn their fellow Leaf gennin might be caught by the Sand shinobi. "I wonder if Hayate-sensei stumbled across something he wasn't supposed to. He was killed by a chakra scalpel to the heart, but he lost a lot of blood to a cut caused by a wind-technique."

Shikamaru looked over at the Sand genin and their sensei, a man who had a veil covering the right side of his face. "If I remember correctly, their jounin, Baki, is well known for his wind jutsus."

"I know. But none of the Suna nin here are medics. Besides, didn't Iruka-sensei say something about Sand medics preferring to use actual metal scalpels?"

"He did," Shikamaru acknowledged. "He also mentioned that fighting with chakra scalpels was something only Konoha medics were taught, which means—"

Naruto finished Shikamaru's statement with a snarl. "—treason!"

If there was one thing Naruto despised, it was disloyalty. As an orphaned ostracized by society, he put a lot of value on the bonds that he held with those he cared about. For someone to so casually throw those bonds away…It sent Naruto's blood boiling.

Before the two could ponder on the identity of the traitor, their attention was pulled back to the fight ongoing in the arena. Gaara, the sociopathic Suna nin with the mother complex, had enveloped himself in a sphere of sand. However, what really caught their attention was Sasuke. Holding his right forearm, lightning encased his right hand, giving off a deafening sound like a thousand birds chirping all at once. Running forward at the dome of sand, Sasuke plunged his lightning covered fist elbow deep into the sand with a cry of "Chidori!"

After a tense moment of silence, a blood-curdling shriek of pain and surprise echoed around the stadium. "BLOOD! IT'S MY BLOOD!"

As Sasuke jumped back from the writhing and convulsing sphere of sand, white, glowing feathers fell from the sky and onto the audience. As the feathers sent everyone in the stadium to sleep, all hell broke loose.

/

As Naruto saw the feathers begin to fall, he began to feel drowsy. Shikamaru, recognizing the genjutsu for what it was, grabbed Naruto by the shoulder as his mind raced. "Quick, pulse your chakra as hard as you can."

Fighting through the drowsiness, Naruto placed his hands into the ram-seal. Gathering himself, Naruto pulsed his chakra, expelling a ludicrous amount of chakra that spread through and out of the stadium in a tangible wave of blue energy. As the blonde stood panting from exertion, Shikamaru stared at him owlishly. "I knew you had more chakra than anyone I've ever met, but that was just so…troublesome." Shikamaru's eyes widened as he looked over Naruto's shoulder. "Behind you!"

**[Play Fire Emblem – Super Smash Bros 3DS]**

Spinning around, Naruto drew Falchion and swung, bisecting a shinobi wearing a Sound Village headband from hip to shoulder. As fighting broke out across the stadium, Naruto and Shikamaru went back to back as several Sound and Sand nin descended upon them. The enemy nin would soon regret facing the scions of the Uzumaki and the Nara.

For the next several minutes, Naruto and Shikamaru were akin to a storm of death. Working in tandem, the two genin took on shinobi together with ease that they would have been hard pressed to defeat alone. As Naruto deflected blades and caught lightning and earth jutsus on Falchion, Shikamaru would send a kunai into the attacker's brain. As Shikamaru caught nin with his shadow and redirected their wind, water, and fire techniques at their allies, Naruto would cut down the nin coming up behind Shikamaru. As Naruto would run through an enemy swordsman, Shikamaru would strangle another with his own shadow. As Shikamaru would make two enemy nin slice each other's throat, Naruto would send several nin flying with an explosion as he stabbed a flaming Falchion into the ground.

However, there was only so much Naruto and Shikamaru could do, and before long, the two were in danger of being taken down. Just as a group of Sand shinobi was about to unleash a mass combined wind jutsu, a swarm of beetles overtook them as Shino sidled up to them. "I observed the pair of you in danger of being overwhelmed and decided to offer assistance."

Naruto dispatched a rather ugly kunoichi wielding a chain-sickle with a nod. "Thanks."

Nodding stoically, Shino turned and directed his swarm into another group of enemy mooks. One particularly enterprising Sound nin took the initiative to send a fireball into the swarm of insects. However, no sooner had the fireball left the nin's mouth did a pair of spiraling horizontal vortexes tear both fireball and caster apart. The two tornadoes dispersed to reveal a small white dog and Kiba Inuzuka, a feral-looking brown haired boy with slit-pupil eyes and red fang tattoos on his cheeks. Shino nodded to him in thanks. "Kiba, Akamaru, you have my gratitude for rescuing my hive."

Before he could acknowledge Shino, Kiba was set upon by a nin producing high-pitched sounds with a metal gauntlet. Incapacitated by the hypersonic attack, Kiba and Akamaru were sitting ducks. Fortunately, as the man went to attack Kiba, he was laid low by a series of precision chakra laden Jyuuken strikes as Hinata Hyuuga, timidity forgotten in the heat of combat, came to the feral boy's rescue. Smiling in thanks, the two genin and the nin-puppy covered each other as they fought.

Naruto was in danger of falling to a pair of identical twins who were wielding a pair of pikes. Suddenly, the twin on the left was sent flying across the stadium by a giant fist out of nowhere, while the right twin's eyes went blank. To Naruto's confusion, the twin took a diving leap off the balcony, breaking his neck against the arena floor. Turning towards the giant fist, Naruto welcomed the sight of Chouji Akamichi carrying an unconscious Ino Yamanaka over his shoulder. Blinking awake, Naruto couldn't help but give a morbid chuckle at Ino's statement. "Well, now I know what it's like to go jump off a cliff. Not gonna be doing that again anytime soon."

Naruto smiled. "Hey guys, welcome to the party."

Chouji and Ino smiled in acknowledgement as they waded into the fray.

As Naruto turned to engage a small group of Sound and Sand nin, he paused instead as each was felled by a precisely thrown kunai. Turning, he saw the panda-haired girl from the Bronze Kunai, Tenten. To his surprise, he saw Neji Hyuuga, though bandaged and sore, whirl through a group of foes to Naruto's side as a boy wearing orange leg-warmers and a green spandex suit on crutches used his own casts as bludgeoning weapons. Naruto recognized him as the boy who had been crippled by Gaara during the preliminaries. Rock something-or-other. Before Naruto could comment on that, Tenten went to aid him. "Lee! The doctors said no fighting!" Ah, yes, that was his name.

"Uzumaki." Naruto glanced at Neji and yelped as a missed sword-thrust sliced his cheek open. "I wish to formally apologize for my behavior before."

Shocked, Naruto stumbled through his thrust, barely catching his opponent in the gut before he regained his composure. "Um, not that I'm complaining, but why the sudden change in heart?"

Neji tapped a Sound nin on the forehead, the man falling over as grey sludge began to stream from his nose and eyes. "While I was recovering in the medical wing, my Uncle revealed to me the truth behind my father's death and delivered a letter from him to me." Neji paused as he blocked a Sound nin's ax-kick and delivered a chakra strike between the man's legs. As the man fell, mouth open in a silent scream, Neji continued. "Perhaps the rest of the story could wait until we are not fighting for our lives?"

"Agreed." Naruto looked up as the fighting came to a brief lull, freezing as he saw the box of purple flames on the roof of the stadium above the Kage box. Inside, the Hokage, one of the only people to treat Naruto as human during his childhood, was facing off against the traitor Orochimaru and a pair of somewhat familiar men with glowing red eyes. He didn't know why, but those red eyes that weren't the Sharingan so touted by the late Uchiha clan gave him a bad feeling. For some reason, Naruto felt that he needed to be up there to help the Hokage.

Fighting his way to Chouji as the fighting kicked back up, Naruto ran through a nin about to attack the big boned boy from behind. "Chouji! I need you to throw me up to the roof!"

Chouji glanced at where Naruto was pointing. "No problem!" Grabbing Naruto in his suddenly giant hand, Chouji picked him up. Taking a running start, the Akamichi threw Naruto like a javelin.

Landing with a roll on the roof, Naruto ran over to the wall of purple flames where a squad of ANBU watched the elderly Hokage standoff against three. He looked around at the squad. "Hey, what's the situation?"

An ANBU with a mask portraying a tiger's face answered, his eyes never leaving the standoff. "The traitor Orochimaru trapped the Hokage in with him. We can't touch the barrier or get through." He gestured at a pile of bone and ash just inside the barrier. "Dodo tried and, well... To make matters worse, Orochimaru summoned the First and Second Hokage back from the dead. The only good thing about this is that Lord Third prevented the traitor from summoning Lord Fourth."

Naruto bit his lip as he stared anxiously through the flaming purple barrier. In the corner of his eyes, he could see a giant Tanuki made of sand duking it out with 50 foot Toad wielding a just as large tanto, but they were outside the village walls, so he didn't pay it any attention.

As he stared at the barrier, scenes of a blue-haired woman wielding Falchion began to flicker past Naruto's eyes. As the images flew past his vision, the blonde saw her using a technique to smash through guards, thick wooden and metal shields, and even barriers of energy. As the visions faded Naruto turned to Tiger. "Sir, I may be able to break through to the Hokage, but I don't know how long it'll last."

One of the Sound nin, a red-head kunoichi holding up a corner of the barrier snorted. "Yeah, good luck with that, shit-head."

Tiger nodded and signaled his squad to get ready. "Alright Uzumaki, whenever you're ready."

Breathing deeply, Naruto slid into his stance and held Falchion before him at forty-five degrees. Releasing his breath Naruto snapped his arm back. Charging the holy blade with chakra, Naruto lunged forward, smashing through the barrier with the sound of shattering glass, Tiger right on his heels. Just as Tiger made it through, the barrier repaired itself, sealing Naruto and Tiger in with the Hokage and the traitor.


	5. Chapter 5

Orochimaru stared in surprise and slight anger that two people, one not even out of puberty, had broken through his barrier jutsu. The same barrier jutsu that was supposedly impenetrable. He glared at the blonde boy. Aside from the whiskers, he looked just like…no, it couldn't be, could it? It was! And from what his spies had told him, the boy didn't even know who his own parents were. Oh, that was rich! What were the odds that _his_ son was the most reviled person in Konoha aside from himself?

And who was the other one? Orochimaru flicked out his tongue. The white-cloaked ANBU captain's chakra tasted of water and earth, with an undercurrent of wood. Hmm. Had one of his experiments have survived? If so, it was a pity he had lost the notes to that particular venture when he was driven out of Konoha. Oh well, time to great the guests.

"Well, pesky newcomers are arrived. The brat and the experiment, welcome. You won't be leaving anytime soon."

As Orochimaru snickered darkly, Hiruzen, wearing his black armored battle-gear and helmet, glanced over at Naruto and Tiger. "While I can't say I don't appreciate the help, you shouldn't have come here children." Biting his thumb, Hiruzen smeared the blood on the ground and blurred through hand seals. "Summoning jutsu! Monkey King Enma!"

With an explosion of smoke, a burly, white-furred monkey in a tiger-print tunic and standing a full head-and-a-half above the battle-clad Hokage stood before them. Naruto blinked. "Huh. So that's why Jiraiya called him the 'old monkey.'"

The monkey looked at Orochimaru. "You again?" He turned his head to look at the elderly man who summoned him. "You should have killed him on that day, Sarutobi."

Hiruzen cracked his neck as he breathed in deeply. "Once again, you are completely correct, Enma my old friend. But better late than never. Adamantine Staff please."

Nodding, Enma burst into smoke. As the air cleared, a gold-tipped black staff the size of a telephone pole stood on end next to Sarutobi. As the elderly Hokage took it in hand, the staff condensed and shrunk down to a more manageable size. Brandishing the staff, Hiruzen glared balefully at his wayward former student. "Naruto, Tiger; I will deal with my traitorous student. You two deal with the First and Second Hokages."

As his two subordinates acknowledged their orders and leapt into action, Hiruzen stared down his former student. He took in the snake-like man's long, greasy black hair and the faint purple eye shadow over his yellow, slit eyes. Where had the old monkey gone wrong in teaching him? "You've made me regret ever allowing you to live, Orochimaru."

**[Play Battle - Felix (Brawl Version) - Golden Sun: The Lost Age Music Extended]**

Orochimaru burst out into hysterical laughter, before gagging. Tilting his head back, he regurgitated the head of a snake, which then itself regurgitated the hilt of a sword. Hiruzen watched with disgust as Orochimaru withdrew a Jian before slurping up the snake like a particularly thick ramen noodle.

An eye opened on the staff held in the Hokage's hand as the disembodied voice of Enma emitted from it. "Careful Sarutobi, that's the legendary Kusanagi no Tsurugi sword. My body is strong, but it can still hurt me."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Hiruzen planted one end of the Adamantine Staff on the roof and swiftly extended the pole, launching himself into the air. Orochimaru sneered. "Well, at least you've made this _interesting_."

With that, Orochimaru launched himself into the air to meet his old teacher's attack.

/

Naruto brandished Falchion as he faced off against the risen Second Hokage while Tiger dealt with the first. As he charged the reanimated corpse, the blonde's blue eyes widened as he saw Lord Tobirama clap his hands together.

"Water Release: Water Colliding Wave!" Calling out his attack, Tobirama thrust his arms forward and crossed them.

Naruto's eyes bulged out of his head as a virtual tsunami appeared out of nowhere and barreled at him. The blonde's mind raced: none of the techniques he knew could stop or divert the tidal wave; nor could he jump over it safely. That left only one viable option: anything else would see him caught up by the wave and dashed into the barrier to be burnt alive even as he drowned.

Stabbing Falchion deep into the roofing tiles beneath his feet, Naruto took a deep breath. Affixing his feet to the rooftop with chakra, Naruto braced himself. At the last second, just before the wave washed over him, Naruto projected as much chakra as he could into a bubble around him. The bubble took much of the force from the raging waters as Naruto clung to Falchion like a limpet.

Soon, the wave dissipated, leaving Naruto to slump to the rooftop. Gasping for breath, the sword-wielder took the moment to look over his opponent.

The Second Hokage was the spitting image of the pictures they had in the history books and the bust on the Hokage Monument. The birthmarks on his cheeks and chin, the white, bushy hair, even what he wore was exactly like the picture books, from his blue, samurai-style armor to the happuri with the leaf insignia on his head. The only thing missing was the Raijin, the saber with a lightning-chakra blade that the Second Hokage had created.

Considering the fact that Lord Tobirama and his brother were both accomplished swordsmen without peer, Naruto considered himself lucky that neither undead Hokage was armed with any weapons and that the Raijin had been stolen years before by a defector. Standing tall and prying Falchion from the roof, Naruto resumed his charge.

Getting in close with the animated corpse, Naruto shot past, removing an arm as he did so. However, an unnatural warping sound made Naruto spin around to see the dismembered limb break apart into scraps of flesh and cloth that reassembled on Tobirama's body. Naruto cursed. He'd need to strike deathblows then. Nothing else would do.

Gathering himself to charge again, Naruto was instead forced to glue himself once more to the roof with chakra as Tobirama released a giant serpent made of water that Naruto recognized from the near ill-fated Wave mission.

Deciding to emulate something he'd seen Kiri missing-nin and elite swordsman Zabuza Momochi do when Kakashi had used the same technique, Naruto took Falchion in both hands. Raising the sword over his head, Naruto brought it down in front of the water dragon to cut the technique in half down the length, his cloak billowing behind him in the stiff gale caused by the water roaring past.

With the water dragon collapsing into a puddle as it fell apart, Naruto blitzed forward and engaged Tobirama once more. For the next several minutes both combatants participated in a dance of death, both giving devastating attacks and avoiding death by a hairs-breadth. Finally, Naruto took the win by sliding between the risen Hokage's legs and, planting his feet in a firm stance, brought Falchion up in an upwards swing, bisecting the deceased Hokage vertically.

As the Second Hokage disintegrated into smoke, Naruto turned to check on Tiger, only to blink when he saw that the ANBU Captain was matching the resurrected first Hokage jutsu to jutsu, and with the wood release at that. Something the First had been famous for and had been able to perform exclusively.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. Orochimaru had called Tiger an experiment, hadn't he? That meant that Tiger's ability with wood release was a result of Orochimaru's twisted mind. That should mean that Tiger's own abilities in wood release would be inferior to the First's. And yet, there Tiger was, easily—though not effortlessly—outdoing the first Hokage. That should not have been possible.

A thought occurred to Naruto. Was the First Hokage possibly fighting against whatever control Orochimaru had on him to hold back? It seemed likely. And if that was the case, then so too had the Second. Naruto slumped, suddenly feeling much less accomplished by defeating the Second Hokage.

A pained cry caught Naruto's attention. Turning, he saw with horror that the Third Hokage was on the ground, clutching at a bleeding calf. Seeing Orochimaru gloat over the man Naruto considered to be like a grandfather, the blonde knew he had to do something. Adjusting his grip on Falchion, Naruto shot forward, the tip of the blade leaving a glowing trail in the air behind.

/

Hiruzen collapsed to the roof as fire seemed to rush through his veins. He had gotten careless, gotten old, and Orochimaru had capitalized on it, moving around his guard to stab him in the shin.

A shadow fell over the Hokage. Looking up, Hiruzen saw his former student standing over him.

"Poor, poor Sensei. I bet you'd rather be taking a nice, long nap right now, hmm? Well, let me oblige you then."

Hiruzen watched Orochimaru raise the Kusanagi in a stabbing motion. He knew from the fire in his leg that the blade was coated in poison, and that a cut to the torso would be fatal, no matter what. Resigning himself to his fate, Hiruzen closed his eyes and leaned back. _I'm sorry everyone, I've failed._

"NO!" _**CLANG!**_

Hiruzen's eyes shot open to see that the Kusanagi had been intercepted by the gleaming blade of Falchion, and that Naruto was standing protectively over the old monkey. Orochimaru jumped back in shock, disengaging the sword lock.

"How? The Kusanagi no Tsurugi can cut through anything!"

Naruto grinned predatorily. "My divine dragon fang beats your giant snake kidney stone any day."

Snarling, Orochimaru sneered, then growled in anger as realization struck him. "Wait, how did you get away from the Reanimation Jutsu?"

Scoffing, Naruto sneered. "Oh, that? I cut him in half."

Orochimaru was fit to tear his hair out. "That's not possible! He should have been able to regenerate from anything short of a Tailed-Beast level sealing, and I know you're not that good at seals!"

Naruto shrugged. "Hey, I have a holy sword, impossible's my shtick. Now, are we gonna fight, or are you just going to stand there and look stupid?"

Snarling in rage, Orochimaru charged at Naruto with the Kusanagi brandished low.

/

If one were to look in the Bingo book, the pamphlet that detailed all shinobi with a bounty, one would find that Orochimaru of the Legendary Three Sannin was an S-Rank ninja. This was well-deserved, as the Snake-like man was arguably on the level of a Kage. The man was also in possession of multitudes of Jutsus, as the man's wish was to learn every chakra-fueled technique in the world.

A master of psychological warfare, most of Orochimaru's victims and opponents defeated themselves. For those that he couldn't psych out, Orochimaru's sheer tenacity allowed him to survive what would and should be mortal blows, toying with his prey until he put them out of their misery.

He was also accomplished in swordplay, and thus armed with the Kusanagi no Tsurugi no blade could stand before him.

One would think that Naruto had no chance whatsoever. However, there were several factors in Naruto's favor. Orochimaru was extremely arrogant. After victory upon victory with nary a bruise or scratch, Orochimaru had become overconfident in his abilities, and thus allowed them to stagnate. And though he was accomplished at using the sword, the Snake ninja was self-taught, his form full of holes and imprecision. To top it off, he had become over reliant on the Kusanagi and capitalizing on the shock of his opponents when their blades were cut. With these factors in play, Naruto stood a chance.

/

Naruto was amazed. He was holding ground against _Orochimaru_, an S-Ranked missing-nin! It was too easy! Yes, Naruto had to stay on his toes, as Orochimaru was still far more experienced than him, and the sword he was swinging looked to be poisoned, but this was far easier than he thought it would be.

As he dueled with the slippery Sannin, Naruto watched as time and time again Orochimaru made mistakes that Hayate-sensei had drilled out of him on the very first day of learning kenjutsu. It was obvious that Orochimaru had never had formal sword training. A thrust, made with an elbow that was _just_ too loose. A swing that came in too high to hit that sweet spot where it is hard to block properly. A foot an inch too far to one side creating a faulty foundation. A feint that came in too hard and went out too fast. A riposte when he should have counter attacked. These errors in Orochimaru's form were what gave Naruto the edge he needed to hold his own.

Orochimaru was _furious._ How dare this little slip of a boy hold his own against him! Yes, the Snake Sannin conceded that he had never had formal training with a sword, but he still had years on this boy. He was sending out clones left and right, and to his consternation, the boy matched him clone for clone. And whenever he used an area of effect technique, the brat would weather it or bat it away with that sword of his. It was infuriating!

_Well_, Orochimaru thought slyly. _Let's see how he deals with this?_ Using a variation of the tree-walking exercise he had _acquired_, Orochimaru maneuvered the Kusanagi until the flats of the blades touched, then stuck his sword to the blonde brat's and wrenched it from his hand. Disengaging the technique, the slippery Sannin watched with satisfaction as the shining longsword landed point-first in the roof some distance away.

/

As the Falchion was torn from his grasp, Naruto cursed, inwardly panicking somewhat. Leaping back from the suddenly euphoric Sannin, Naruto did his damndest not to get hit, somehow succeeding for several minutes. Eventually though, Orochimaru managed to corner the bewhiskered teen.

Just as Naruto thought it was over, a shout caught his attention and somehow managed to distract Orochimaru.

"Naruto!"

Reaching out with one hand as he leapt over the Kusanagi, Naruto caught the object spinning at him. Gaining some distance, Naruto looked down to see that he was holding the adamantine form of Monkey King Enma. Risking a quick glance over at the Hokage, he saw the old man lowering an arm. Shakily, he got into a rough bojutsu stance as taught in the academy.

An eye opened on the staff. "You know how to use a bo staff, boy?"

Surpised though he was by the talking staff, Naruto responded respectfully. No need to piss off his only weapon after all. "No sir."

The staff seemed to nod, somehow. "Well then, you'd better listen to me carefully if you want to live."

Orochimaru appeared before Naruto in a blur, the Kusanagi held primed for an overhead strike. "Overhead block!"

For several long minutes, Naruto held his own, his actions and movements guided by Monkey King Enma. Hiruzen watched on with trepidation and slight wonder. It appeared that he had someone he could finally pass on his staff techniques to, as the blonde boy was apparently a natural with the staff. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be enough.

Naruto choked as the Adamantine Staff was trapped under Orochimaru's foot as the Sannin grabbed him by the neck and lifted him bodily. Holding the teenager away from him at arm's length, Orochimaru sneered triumphantly. "Any last words before I send you to the Pure Realm?"

Naruto struggled until he saw movement behind Orochimaru. "Yeah, you forgot something."

Orochimaru lifted an eyebrow. "Oh, and what's that?"

The blonde smirked. "I can make clones too."

The snake Sannin screamed in pain and surprise as a shadow clone swung the Falchion down on the arm holding Naruto up in the air. Dispelling the clone with the Kusanagi, Orochimaru kicked the original away and jumped back to gain space.

Sneering, the traitor jeered at the boy. "A clever ploy, I will admit, but ultimately fruitless." To Naruto's disgust, Orochimaru began to vomit up an identical copy of himself, effectively shedding his skin. As the skin-shedding technique left him without even a scratch or a bruise, Orochimaru popped his joints. Rolling his shoulders, Orochimaru went to make a clone, only to discover that he was still missing an arm.

"What! No! How is this possible?" He looked up at Naruto. He hissed in anger. "What. Did. You. Do?"

Naruto honestly had no idea. It was great that whatever the snake had tried hadn't worked, but really, all he had done was have a clone cut his arm off. It hadn't even added chakra. Before he could do anything however, Orochimaru sneered at him. "Sound Four! We are leaving!"

The Sound Shinobi anchoring the four corners of the barrier dropped the technique. Before Naruto or the waiting ANBU squad could do anything, they had bundled up their treacherous leader and had vanished into the fighting occurring around the stadium roof.

Utterly exhausted, mentally and physically, Naruto shakily stumbled over to the prone Hokage as he came down off the massive amounts of adrenaline in his bloodstream. Before he could get halfway however, the fatigue took its toll and Naruto collapsed. As the darkness took him, the last thing Naruto felt was the sensation of being caught.

/

Enma shook his head in disbelief as he cradled the unconscious genin in one large arm. Picking up the boy's sword, the wizened monkey king blinked in surprised. The boy was wielder of none other than the fabled Falchion. Well that certainly explained a few things. While observing the boy fight the traitor, he had noticed that the boy, though skilled, was inexperienced, yet did things that only a veteran would be able to. _Well,_ the monkey king mused as he swung one-handed over to the ANBU gathered around his summoner. _The old stories did say the sword guided the wielder_.

As he came closer to the ANBU squad, the one in white with the tiger mask landed in front of Enma. "Lord Enma, the Hokage is stable, but we need to get him to the hospital to treat the poisoning."

Enma nodded. "Lead on. I will follow."

Nodding, Tiger returned to the squad. Bearing the unconscious Hokage in his arms, the ANBU captain sped for the hospital, his squad and the monkey summons following close behind.

**AN: Boom! Naruto just kicked Orochimaru's ass, and in a way that is plausible, given the way I explained it and the way Orochimaru himself acted in the anime and manga.**

**Skyfishin: Well, there you go; permanent damage done to a corrupted vessel and easy (relatively) dispersal of an Edo Tensei. I do hope you liked that. As for the Awakening characters, they are long gone and dead, with maybe the exception of the various Manakete that went around with the Shepherds. Then again, they could have perished in the Cataclysm, so who knows. If it is conducive to the plot I have envisioned, maybe I'll work them in, but who knows?**


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto groaned as he clawed his way out of the darkness. For a long moment, he just lay there, staring at the white plaster ceiling. _Oh look, I'm in the hospital. I wonder how the Old Man's doing._ Suddenly, realization struck him. He shot upright. "Old Man!"

Instantly, Naruto regretted sitting up, as his entire body protested the movement. As he grimaced at the soreness pervading his body, a chuckle caught his attention. Looking to his right, the blonde saw his sensei Kakashi Hatake sitting by the window.

Kakashi Hatake was an interesting specimen, to say the least. At twenty-five years old, Kakashi's wild, gravity defying hair was already silver, though he claimed it was always like that. His lower face was covered by a black mask, and his forehead protector covered his left eye like an eyepatch. One interesting thing to note, the lanky jounin could usually be found reading from an orange-covered book, giggling perversely at the contents.

Indeed, even now Kakashi read his little orange book. He didn't even look up at his student. "It's good to see you awake, Naruto. How are you feeling?"

Naruto meckered slightly as he tried to stretch out his sore body. He looked at his squad leader and teacher. "Sore. All over. How's the Old Man?"

Breathing deeply, Kakashi closed his eye and shut his little book. "Lord Hokage is currently stable. The doctors say he's going to make it, but his leg wound had festered thanks to the poison. They had to amputate the leg at the knee."

Naruto grimaced. Losing a limb was a death sentence for any shinobi's career. "I…I see. Can I go see him?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I'm afraid not. They have the Hokage in isolation right now. From what little I was told, they had to put him in a medical stasis to prevent any poison still in his system from doing anymore damage."

The whiskered blonde's eyes were visibly filled with concern. "Why can't they just take the poison out now?"

The jounin's frown was visible through his mask. "Because, somehow, the poison damaged the Hokage's immune system, and the doctors aren't skilled enough to deal with both at the same time. The only person who could remove the poison and simultaneously bolster the Hokage's immune system is Tsunade Senju, and possibly her apprentice Shizune Kato."

Naruto deflated and lay back down on the bed. The last of the Senju and her apprentice hadn't been seen in Konoha for over ten years. He looked over at Kakashi after a moment's thought. "Are they sending anyone out to get her?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, in fact, that is partially why I'm here. Lord Jiraiya wanted to take you with him to find her. He'd be here to ask you himself, but he's been busy running damage control with the councils."

The sore blonde frowned. "Wait, just us?"

The head of silver hair bobbed. "Unfortunately, with the aftermath of the invasion, that's all we can afford to spare. We're all hands on deck right now. Even the reserves and the retirees have been called to active service. It'll be some time before things go back to normal."

Naruto sat back with a sigh. Well, he didn't have anything better to do, and he didn't like the thought of the Old Monkey lying in what basically amounted to a coma. "I'll do it."

Kakashi eye-smiled, his visible eye turning into an upside-down U. "Excellent. I'll let Lord Jiraiya know. He'll meet you by the south gate in a few hours. The doctors should have released you from the hospital by then."

Standing up, Kakashi went out the door, nose buried in his adult literature. "Oh Yuna, you naughty, naughty girl you. Tee-hee."

/

Naruto groaned as he cracked his stiff neck. From what the doctors had told him, he had strained his muscles by flooding them with chakra at some point during the invasion. The stiff teen suspected it had been when he had taken a tidal wave to the face. At any rate, the doctor had told him not to channel chakra into his muscles for a week. He'd still be allowed to do chakra control and molding exercises though. Unfortunately, it meant that Naruto and Jiraiya would be walking to find Tsunade, as tree-running—the method of travel that involved leaping from tree branch to tree branch—focused on chakra intensive muscle enhancement.

"Hey there squirt!" Naruto scowled as he saw the perverted Toad Sage. He hated it when he called him that. Oh well, there were ways to get even. "You ready to go?"

Nodding, Naruto groaned at the movement. "Yeah, been ready for a while, pervy sage."

Jiraiya deflated somewhat. "How many times do I have to tell ya not to call me that? I keep telling ya to call me sensei."

Naruto grinned. "Hey, I'll call you sensei when you stop peeking at women."

The Toad Sage snorted. "Fine, have it your way. To the trees!" Jiraiya leapt into the trees, only to jump back down when Naruto didn't follow. "Hey, squirt, didn't you hear me? C'mon, we're taking the canopy express!"

The blonde shook his head. "No can do, pervy sage. Doctors said I'm not allowed to use muscle enhancing techniques, and that includes tree-running."

"Ah." Jiraiya nodded thoughtfully before adopting a roughish grin. "Then, we walk!"

/

Several hours later, Naruto paused as something caught his ear. Stopping fully, he strained to hear it again. Jiraiya kept on going, until he realized he was just talking to thin air. Turning back, he saw Naruto staring intently into the forest. "Hoi, squirt! What's up?"

Naruto waved at the sage to be silent. Curious, Jiraiya complied. After several moments of waiting in silence, they both heard the high, warbling sound. Jiraiya frowned. "That sounded like an animal in distress. I wonder if—!" Jiraiya coughed in surprise as Naruto shot forward into the brush. "Wha—Hey! Wait up!"

Naruto went barreling through the underbrush. He didn't know why, but for some reason he felt compelled to help whatever animal was making those distressed noises. Soon, Naruto broke through the trees into a clearing.

There, tied to a tree in the middle of the clearing, was a chestnut horse beset on all sides by a pack of wolves. Snarling, Naruto created several shadow clones transformed as kunai and launched them at the wolves. Most of the kunai only wounded their targets, but a few wolves were killed outright. The wolves, sensing competition in the form of a fox, no matter its size or shape, turned their attention on Naruto.

Drawing Falchion, Naruto began to take out the wolves one at a time. Every now and then, one would leap on his back, only to be stymied by the thick cloak and leather armor. Several wolves were taken down by merely being punched with Falchion's basket hilt, while others were bifurcated or decapitated. Still more were caught mid-leap and born to the ground before their necks were crushed by a stomping boot. Finally, there was only one wolf left. Snarling impotently, the alpha backed away from the two-legged fox, only to wander too close to the chestnut horse. With a whinnied shriek, the horse reared up and came down on the surprised wolf. Soon, with repeated stomping, the wolf resembled little more than tenderized meat wrapped in fur.

Sheathing Falchion, Naruto took a closer look at the horse. It was about 13 hands high and about 1200 pounds, male, and looked to still be a juvenile, likely just growing out of his colt stage. A high quality bridle and bit was on his head, a just as high quality saddle, with saddlebags, on his back. The head had a straight profile, broad forehead, large eyes and small ears. The chest was deep and wide and the croup long and level. He gave an impression of power and ruggedness. His fur was a dark copper that stirred something in Naruto, like a memory that was just out of reach. He had a diamond patch of white fur on his forehead, and white fur on the legs from the knees down.

Naruto frowned: the chestnut's coat was marred by vicious bites and scratch marks. He'd need to take care of that. Holding his hand up, palm out, Naruto slowly approached the horse. As he did so, he could see the intelligence in the horse's dark brown eyes. Cooing to him, Naruto held out a hand. The horse eyed him warily before placing his forehead on Naruto's hand. Smiling, Naruto scratched the horse's forehead.

It was to this scene that Jiraiya came across as he finally caught up to Naruto; surrounded by dead wolves, covered in blood and petting a horse. Blinking as Naruto went to the horse's side, the Toad Sage watched in surprise as Naruto's hands glowed green. He watched the boy healing the horse's wounds. He hadn't known the boy knew any medical techniques. Finally, Naruto finished and stood up. Untying the horse from the post, Naruto gave him a pat on the nose and walked over to Jiraiya.

Jiraiya looked at Naruto questioningly. "Why'd you untie the horse?"

Naruto sighed. "He's been tied to that post for a while. Whoever left him here is more likely than not never coming back. So I untied him so that he could make his way home. Horses are extremely intelligent like that."

The Toad Sage nodded before changing the subject as they returned to the path. "I didn't know you could do medical techniques."

Suddenly blushing, the blonde waved a hand at the white-haired man next to him. "I can only accelerate the healing process to close wounds. Anything else I would try ended up making the fish the academy had us use for practice…um…explode."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

/

Several hours later, as the sun was setting, Jiraiya called a halt. Turning around, he started to address the blonde eating an apple next to him. "Alright squirt, we didn't get as far as I had wanted to, but that's because I didn't take into account your medical restrictions. So tomorrow I…" Jiraiya trailed off as he looked incredulously behind Naruto.

Eyebrow cocked in confusion, Naruto turned around to see the chestnut horse standing a few yards away on the path. He nickered. Trotting over to Naruto he snagged what was left of his apple with his lips and started crunching on it. Naruto turned to Jiraiya with wide eyes. "Pervy Sage, he followed me home. Can I keep him?"

Snookered, Jiraiya nodded absentmindedly. After a bit, however, Jiraiya's brain started to work again. "Hey, Naruto, do you even know how to take care of…a…horse?" Turning around, Jiraiya trailed off as he saw one Naruto removing the bridle and saddle, another Naruto using a curry comb on the chestnut's coat, a third Naruto using a knife to pick clean the frog of one hoof, and a final Naruto filling a metal tub with water. "Hey Naruto." The Narutos all paused what they were doing and looked at Jiraiya. "Since when do you know how to take care of a horse?"

"Well," the Naruto filling the tub replied. "When I was little, I tried to get into the library, and I found a book on horse-care and horse breeds. When the librarians found me with it, they kicked me out without taking it back. I learned to read with that book." The Naruto speaking shrugged. "I still have it somewhere."

Jiraiya nodded, mentally filing away that tidbit about the library. He nodded at the horse. "So, what breed is he then?"

Naruto looked him over. "Well, I could be wrong, but I think he's a Percheron. They've traditionally been used as war-horses before they became an agricultural breed."

As he finished filling the tub with water, Naruto rubbed the chestnut on the nose. "Y'know, I'm gonna have to give you a name. How about…Akanori?"

The Percheron looked at Naruto before bobbing his head up and down. "Great! Akanori it is!"

Jiraiya sat heavily on a stump. "He could understand that?"

Naruto gave Jiraiya a funny look as Akanori snorted derisively. "Of course he did. Horses are very intelligent."

Rolling his eyes, Jiraiya stood up and went to set up camp. "Whatever." He paused then looked over at the tools Naruto was using to groom Akanori. "Hey, squirt?"

"Yah?"

"Have you been carrying that stuff around on the off chance you'd get a horse?"

Naruto looked up quizzically. "Huh?" He looked down, then comprehension dawned. "Oh, no, I just made some shadow clones and had them transform into what I needed."

"Oh."

/

The next morning found the pair making up for lost time, with Naruto keeping pace with the tree-running Sannin on horseback. "How you doin' down there, squirt?"

Looking up, Naruto shouted back. "Not as bad as I thought it'd be. It helps that Akanori's not very temperamental."

"Good, it's still some ways to the next town, so keep up."

/

Naruto lay on his futon in the Hotel room. After pulling Akanori up in front of the hotel and getting off, he had discovered the joys of a beginning equestrian: saddle sores. Fortunately, once he had taken care of Akanori for the night and gotten to his room, Naruto discovered that his saddle sores had not gone beyond minor though painful skin abrasions. Lying on the futon, Naruto made a note to get padded pants in the near future.

A knocking on the door distracted Naruto from his misery. Grumbling under his breath, Naruto slowly pulled himself to his feet and hobbled over to the door, doing his best to keep his inner thighs from touching fabric. Reaching the door, the blonde opened it. "Yeah, waddya want…?"

Naruto froze at the sight of a red-eyed man and a blue-skinned man who put most sharks to shame.

"Naruto Uzumaki? You are coming with us."

**AN: And Naruto gets a horse. No complaining! Any and all complaints will be met with a PM of Mighto Gai and Rock Lee doing squat thrusts in speedos!**

**Jose19: I did say that, didn't I?**

**Skyfishin: No, no, by all means, post the really long reviews, I really enjoy the feedback. As for your suggestions, maybe… maybe not… you'll just have to keep reading to find out.**

**Ultima-Owner: Bingo! But really, it only worked like that because of the fact that Orochimaru is no longer inside his original body.**


	7. Chapter 7

_Bingo Book pg. 247_

_Name: Itachi Uchiha_

_Monikers: That Red-Eyed Bastard; Kinslayer_

_Age: 18_

_Height: 5'10"_

_Weight: 127.9 lbs._

_Hair: Black, long_

_Eyes: Black/Sharingan_

_Notable Characteristics: deep, exaggerated tear troughs down cheeks; wears a black cloak with red clouds_

_Status: Missing Nin (Konoha)_

_Rank: Jounin_

_Class: S_

_Affiliations: Akatsuki, Konoha (former)_

_Known Associates: Kisame Hoshigaki (pg. 355)_

_Kekkai Genkai: Sharingan. _

_ The sharingan eye is a three-level eye-based bloodline that allows the user to copy techniques, read enemy movements and created elaborate genjutsus. Warning: Itachi Uchiha is rumored to be in possession of a fourth level sharingan, but this is unconfirmed. Manifests as red irises with up to three tomoes orbiting the pupil in each eye.  
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_Of Note: Holds the contract for the Crow Summons Clan_

_Crimes: Wanted for fratricide of entire clan; desertion  
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_Bounty: $30,000,000 (Konoha)_

_Orders: Flee on sight unless backed up by a full ANBU squad or several Jounin._

/

_Bingo Book Pg. 355_

_Name: Kisame Hoshigaki_

_Monikers: Monster of the Hidden Mist; Tailed Beast without a Tail; That Blue Bastard_

_Age: 29_

_Height: 6'4"_

_Weight: 183.2 lbs._

_Hair: Dark blue, short_

_Eyes: black_

_Notable Characteristics: Blue skin; sharp teeth; gill-like eye markings; looks like a humanoid shark; wielder of Samehada; wears a black cloak with red clouds_

_Status: Missing Nin (Kiri)_

_Rank: Jounin_

_Class: S_

_Affiliations: Akatsuki; Kiri (Former); Seven Swordsmen of the Mist (former)_

_Known Associates: Itachi Uchiha (pg 247)_

_Kekkai Genkai: Samehada_

_While not a Kekkai Genkai, Hoshigaki possesses the Samehada sharkskin horse-slayer sword. The Samehada is semi-sentient and can absorb chakra and subsequently pass it on to its wielder. As such, assume that Hoshigaki always has enough chakra to kill you._

_Of Note: Holds the contract for the Shark Summons Clan; wields Samehada_

_Crimes: Attempted Murder of Land of Water Daimyo, theft of Samehada from Kiri; desertion  
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_Bounty: $15,000,000 (Kiri), $20,000,000 (Land of Water); $25,000,000 (for return of Samehada to Kiri)_

_Orders: Flee on sight unless backed by full ANBU squad or several Jounin._

/

"Naruto Uzumaki? You will come with us."

Upon seeing the two men at his door, Naruto slammed it shut and whirled around as he went over what he knew of the two men's Bingo Book entries.

…

Well, that wasn't good. He'd need a plan.

/

Kisame Hoshigaki blinked at the door in front of him. "Itachi, did he just slam the door on us?"

The ever stoic Itachi Uchiha 'hn'ed. "I believe he did, Kisame."

Kisame pulled the bandaged horse-slayer sword Samehada off his back. "Can I cut off his legs?"

Itachi gave a long suffering sigh. "Fine. But you are carrying him."

Grinning, Kisame brought Samehada down on the door, reducing it to a cloud of sawdust and splinters. As the dust settled, they saw their target jump out the window.

/

As the door disintegrated, Naruto decided that discretion was the better part of valor and went out the window. Normally, being on the second story would be a deterrent, but 20 feet was not an issue for someone with even a modicum of shinobi training.

Fortunately, in his paranoia (which, while healthy, was actually stunted for a shinobi), Naruto had tied up Akanori at the water trough below their window. Quickly untying the Percheron, Naruto leapt onto Akanori's back and prodded him in the flank. Riding bareback as the chestnut horse sprung into a gallop, Naruto used chakra to keep from falling off.

Taking a quick look over his shoulder, Naruto saw two blurs burst from the hotel window, rapidly following after him. Turning back forward, Naruto went over his quickly laid plan in his head. It wasn't a very good plan, but against two S-class missing-nin and without backup from Pervy Sage, it was the best he could come up with.

/

Kisame and Itachi were somewhat flummoxed by the fact that their target was on horseback. What kind of shinobi rides a horse, anyways?

Regardless, the two soon began to chase down their prey. They followed him out of town and into the forest. Surprisingly, when they found their target, he was waiting for them in the middle of a clearing. Was he being brave, or just stupid? Either way, he was theirs.

/

"Itachi!" Screaming his hated brother's name, Sasuke, a black eyed boy with black hair that resembled a duck's bottom, burst through the broken door of the hotel room. The lightning crackling around his fist died as the 'Last Uchiha' looked around the empty room in confusion. Screaming in anger, his vengeance denied, Sasuke began to throw a tantrum.

"Have no fear; the great Jiraiya is here…!" Jumping through the broken door, the Toad Sage Jiraiya started to go through his grandiose introduction when he noticed that the only other occupant of the room was currently trashing the furniture in a rage.

"D-Y-N-A-M-I-C ENTRY!" Hearing someone shouting behind him, Jiraiya turned around to receive a flying foot to the face.

/

As soon as Kisame and Itachi landed in the clearing, the red-eyed Uchiha took a step forward. "Naruto Uzumaki, you will be coming with us, or I will let Kisame cut off your legs and we will carry you."

Ignoring Itachi's announcement, Naruto pointed at the Monster of the Mist and boomed out with a confident voice. "Kisame Hoshigaki! I challenge you to a swordsman's duel!" Internally, however, was a slightly different story. _Oh dear Kami, please let this work! _He had hoped that Jiraiya would have shown up by now. Unfortunately, the sage had yet to arrive, so Naruto was forced to go with 'Plan B.'

Kisame held out an arm, stopping Itachi in his tracks. "What are your conditions?"

Swallowing, Naruto responded. "Five minutes, sword techniques only. If I can survive for that long, you go away and leave me alone. If you land a hit on my body or head with the sword, you win, and I go with you without struggle."

Itachi started to speak, only for Kisame to interrupt. "I accept."

"Kisame, what are you doing?" Itachi demanded of his partner.

"Itachi," began the shark-like man. "I may be an honorless shinobi, but I still have my pride and honor as a swordsman. One cannot refuse a challenge from another swordsman without losing face." He smiled, which was somewhat disturbing to look at, what with the sharp, pointy teeth. "Besides, this should be fun."

Stepping forward, Kisame took Samehada from his back and brandished the bandaged sword before him. "I, Kisame Hoshigaki, student of Fuguki Suikazan of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, former member of the same and current member of Akatsuki, do accept your challenge."

Recognizing the traditional response to a challenge, Naruto drew Falchion and held it in a swordsman's salute. "I, Naruto Uzumaki, student of Hayate Gekkou of the Crescent Moon, genin of Konohagakure, do recognize your acceptance."

For seemingly an eternity, the two swordsmen stood opposite of each other, watching and waiting as Itachi moved to stand off to the side of the two. After another seeming eternity, Itachi slowly began to raise his hand.

/

Nursing the bruise on his cheek as taijutsu master Might Guy left with a still fuming Sasuke, Jiraiya looked worriedly out the broken window. Where was his student? Where was Naruto?

A sudden flaring of chakra outside the town caught the Toad Sage's attention. _There!_

Launching himself out the window, Jiraiya could only hope and pray that he wouldn't be too late.

/

Dust and leaves flew from the two combatants as Samehada and Falchion clashed. Grimacing, Naruto heeded Hayate's instructions on fighting a stronger opponent and let the larger swordsman push him back.

Disengaging from the sword lock, Naruto leapt back. Charging chakra into Falchion, Naruto swung, unleashing a small tornado of wind at Kisame. Smirking, the shark-like man swung Samehada at the vortex, the bandaged sword absorbing the chakra holding it together. Kisame grinned. The kid was smart; channeling chakra through his blade technically made it a sword technique. It was a pity that Samehada absorbed all chakra it came in contact with; otherwise he'd be doing the same.

Kisame blocked the blonde's overhead slash, locking the swords together. Pushing his face closer to the boy's, Kisame got a closer look at the sword. "Well well well. The divine Falchion, eh? You're just full of surprises, ain't ya?"

Naruto grit his teeth as he tried to disengage. Unfortunately, the much more experienced Kisame took the opportunity to slash at Naruto's exposed side. Seeing the bandaged sword coming at him, Naruto had no choice but to catch it on the leather gauntlet on his left forearm. To his shock, the leather armor and several layers of skin were torn away by blue scales that suddenly jutted out of the bandages.

Clutching at his torn up arm with his sword hand, Naruto stared incredulously at Samehada. "The heck kind of sword is that?"

Chuckling, Kisame hoisted Samehada on his shoulder. "Samehada doesn't cut. Samehada shaves."

Naruto was about to retort when Falchion glowed blue. To his and Kisame's surprise, Naruto's exposed and torn up arm was soon replaced with unscarred, pink skin. "Well that's convenient."

The two began to exchange blows once more. Kisame would swing his massive blade like a club, and Naruto would dodge. Naruto would thrust, and Samehada would be there to intercept the blow. Eventually, Kisame feinted, pulling a swing and punching Naruto in the face.

Clutching at his broken nose, Naruto was caught off guard when Kisame drew Samehada across his shins, sending the blonde to the ground face first. Rolling over, Naruto barely managed to avoid the scaled sword's downward swing.

Spitting out the dirt from the sudden crater formed next to him, Naruto's eyes widened as he saw the sharkskin sword coming down on him once more. In desperation, Naruto held Falchion above him, bracing the sword with one hand on the blade. His arms nearly breaking from the impact and Kisame's brute strength, Naruto screamed in agony and defiance as Samehada pushed Falchion down. Closer and closer came the sword, until it was only a hairsbreadth from tearing up his face.

"Time."

The pressure eased up and Naruto let his arms fall to the sides in relief. As he panted for air, he could vaguely hear Kisame talking. "Well, I'll admit, I didn't expect you to be that good. I underestimated you. Next time, I won't hold anything back."

As the two black cloaked members of Akatsuki departed, Naruto was left lying on the torn up ground of the clearing. Finally, Naruto began to chuckle before he began to laugh deliriously. Over from where he was grazing, Akanori looked up, snorted, then went back to eating. Naruto was still laughing hysterically when Jiraiya finally arrived.

/

Naruto groaned as his heavily bandaged legs once again brushed up against Akanori's flank. After Jiraiya had arrived, they'd tried to have the Falchion do what it had done earlier to his arm, but neither could figure out how to do it. So, they were forced to bandage the legs and for some reason, whatever the Kyuubi usually did to speed up Naruto's healing wasn't happening. Jiraiya postulated that it had something to do with Samehada's legendary ability to absorb chakra.

At any rate, the pair was heading to the tourist town of Tanzaku Gai, which was famous for its castle and many casinos. As they went, Jiraiya hopped down from the trees and started walking next to Akanori.

"Here you go squirt!" Jiraiya tossed Naruto a storage scroll.

Naruto looked at the scroll questioningly, and then raised an eyebrow at Jiraiya. "Um, what's this?"

Jiraiya gave a devious smile. "Why, I'm going to teach you the Fourth's signature technique."

"You mean…?" Naruto looked down at the storage scroll.

"Yep, I'm teaching you the rasengan!"

Naruto looked down at the storage scroll and pushed a sliver of chakra into the seal. To his bafflement, he was left holding a water balloon once the smoke cleared. "Huh? Hey, how is a water balloon going to help me learn the rasengan?"

"Like this." Jiraiya took the water balloon from Naruto and held it up. "Watch closely, I'll only do this once." Naruto leaned in close. As he watched, the surface of the water balloon began to bulge and undulate before it popped, causing Akanori to shy slightly.

Upon getting the near-crimson Percheron calm again, Naruto unsealed another water balloon from the scroll. "Alright, Pervy Sage, what do I do?"

Jiraiya grinned. "Just spin your chakra inside the balloon. Once you get it to pop, we'll go on to stage two." Naruto nodded and proceeded to do just that. Unfortunately, the balloon just bulged out in the middle and flattened into somewhat of a disk, instead of the writhing and bubbling that Jiraiya produced.

Frowning, Naruto turned to the Toad Sage. "Neh, Pervy Sage, what am I doing wrong?"

The Sannin gave a knowing smile. "I'm afraid I can't tell you that"

Naruto looked up from his balloon, perplexed. "What? Why not?"

"Because," the white haired man stated. "If I were to tell you how to do it, you'd never be able to. Everybody learns how to create the rasengan differently. What works for me, won't necessarily work for you." He smiled up at Naruto. "Don't worry if you don't get it right away, it took yo—Minato three years to make it, and me three months to learn. I will give you a hint though: go with the flow, not against it."

Naruto looked at the balloon pensively. "Go with the flow…hmm." Trying something differently, Naruto tried spinning his chakra in the other direction, and found that it was much easier to do. Unfortunately, the balloon still flattened rather than pop.

"Dammit!"

/

Naruto scowled at the water balloon in his hand. He'd been trying to pop it for the last few hours, trying different things. He'd tried spinning faster and slower, he tried narrowing the chakra and widening it. Yet, nothing had worked. He still only had a flattened balloon.

Scrutinizing the balloon, Naruto absently scratched at the leather half-breastplate over his chest, running his fingers across the engraving in the leather. Feeling the shape of the tooled design, the cloaked blonde froze, then looked down at the Uzumaki spiral proudly on display. 'Hmm'ing in thought, Naruto traced the multispoked spiral. It reminded him of a whirlpool. Hmm.

Contemplating the water balloon, Naruto thought. The technique he was trying to learn _was_ called the spiraling sphere. Perhaps, like a whirlpool, he needed to have multiple spirals instead of just one circle. _No, that wouldn't make the bulges I saw Pervy Sage make. Perhaps if I…_

Slowly, Naruto began spiraling his chakra inside the water balloon. First, it was just one spiral, then another at a different angle, then another, and another and another. Soon, the rubber, water-laden sphere was frothing and writhing much like Jiraiya's had. In no time at all, the balloon popped, spilling water onto Akanori's back; much to the Percheron's vocalized displeasure.

"Hey, Pervy Sage, I did it!"

Jiraiya looked over. "We'll see about that. Show me." Naruto unsealed another water balloon and popped it. The perverted sage smiled. "Well done." He tossed Naruto a rubber ball. "Here. Stage two is all about power. To complete this step, you need to burst the ball, not just puncture it."

As Naruto fussed with the dense rubber ball, Jiraiya kept talking. "I'm impressed that you managed to complete the first stage so quickly, but I doub…" A loud _bang_ interrupted the Toad sage, making him spin around to see Naruto triumphantly hold out the shredded remains of the rubber ball as Akanori _whickered_ nervously. The blonde smirked at the perverted toad's gob smacked expression.

"Hey, don't be surprised Pervy Sage. If it's anything I have in spades, it's power out the wazoo."

Still somewhat stunned, Jiraiya pulled out a regular balloon. "O-okay, the next step is containment. Do steps one and two at the same time, with_out_ popping the balloon."

Naruto inflated the balloon and proceeded to enact phases one and two with a confident smirk.

POP!

"Dammit!"

/

POP!

"Dagnabit!"

Jiraiya chuckled. Naruto had been trying to complete stage three for the last few days, letting loose a different curse every time he popped a balloon. Ah, his favorite part about teaching; listening to the student curse up a storm. Interestingly, the kid had quite the repertoire of curses, as he had yet to repeat a single one. Still, best to have the kid take a break, they were almost at their destination. He turned around. "Hey Squirt, give it a rest, we're almost there!"

Sighing as he let the half-inflated balloon in his hand deflate, Naruto put the balloon away. He looked at Jiraiya. "Hey Pervy Sage, where're we going again?"

Jiraiya grinned as he went into "tour-guide mode," arms spread wide for dramatic effect. "Why, Tanzaku Gai, of course! The Land of Fire's gambling central and home of world-famous Tanzaku Castle!"

Naruto looked at where Jiraiya was pointing in confusion. "Uh, Pervy Sage, what castle?"

Cocking an eyebrow, Jiraiya turned around to gape at the smoking ruins that were all that remained of the famous Tanzaku Castle.

**AN: To anyone who cries 'BS!' towards Naruto's duel with Kisame, I have one thing to say. In the Naruto world, one does not put their all into any first encounter. To do so is to give your opponent the advantage and opportunity to counter you in your next encounter. As such, Kisame held a lot back, not really seeing Naruto as a threat. Naruto however could put his all into the fight, because his sword style is still settling and evolving as he gains experience fighting against other ninja. When Naruto survived the five minutes, mostly unscathed, Kisame gained a little respect for him as a swordsman. Long story short, Naruto won because Kisame toyed with him too long.**

**As for the BINGO book entry, let me know what y'all think of it.**

**Q&A!**

**Pain17ification: Oh My God! I love your stories! Thanks!**

**Guest(ch5, Nov 5): Eh, he's old, his leg was messed up too much to keep fighting. Not much he could do, really. He could have dodged, but with a lame leg, poison, and at his age, it was really just delaying the inevitable.  
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**Mecaldar: yes, I know that's how it is in canon, but this isn't canon.**

**Nero Angelo Sparda: Nope, sorry man, no FEA characters (except maybe the Manakete). They've been dead for millennia. But don't worry about Grima. I have plans for him…(Dark, pants-browning evil laughter)**

**Skyfishin; Ddragon21: Don't worry, I have a plan. Can't tell though. Spoilers!**

**Jose19: Good thing I didn't have him fight Itachi then, huh?**


End file.
